Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Talk About "Fitness"

Let's talk fitness. One of the grossest things I think I could ever talk about. I know most of you probably aren't familiar with my physique or my workout routines. Well, I have no workout routine. My friends regularly make fun of me when I even mention the idea of signing up for a gym membership or going for a "jog". I can say that I've been blessed with a freakishly high metabolism especially considering my love affair with cheeseburgers. However, I realize that metabolism of mine will quickly come to a halt and I need to start thinking about caring for my body for the long haul. Not to mention, I have to wear one of these in 14 short months...

This is NOT my dress despite it's obvious beauty.

So, the time has come for me to torture myself and sign up for a real "body defining" experience instead of taking Watson for a walk around the block and calling it a day. Friends, I walked into a torture chamber yesterday. Where they could have just gassed me and I would have been happy to be put out of my misery. This is the torture chamber I speak of...

Define Body & Mind

Define is a mixture of Pilates, yoga, barre work, and core strengthening. Define. What an appropriate term. I mean, for those who have something to "define". It was depressingly apparent that I don't have a single muscle in my body to actually "define". I shook, I sweat, I bit my lip, and almost passed out.

So, while my body is actually growing real, live muscles inside me for the first time in 26 years, I'm going to stick with it. Because if I can look like some of those toned skinny minnies (show offs, if you ask me) for my wedding, then I guess I'll grin and bear it. And, I need to prove to my "friends" that I can do it. My "friends" who have in the past given me cocktail napkins that say, "when I say the word exercise, I rinse my mouth out with chocolate" and friends who make comments on my facebook status about going to Define like, "you're working out?" Well, "friends", I'll show you!


  1. I have a love/hate relationship with Define. I've been going since May - maybe I'll see you at a class sometime!

  2. So funny! Love/hate relationship with Define, yes I get that. I haven't gone in so long I'm skeert to go back, fear of passing out being one of my top reasons. But I can say that when I was going regularly, I LOVED it. You will love it I have no doubt. And don't laugh at me when you're all queen of the mat and I"m returning from my year of sloth.

  3. Mimi with sore butt cheeks...August 10, 2012 at 7:27 AM

    I am with Meredith, love/hate. And Sally, come back! Lauren is 20 years younger and really showing us up! Lauren, I love your post on this. I truly "Define" you as incredible all the way around!


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